Lost Tapes (and other April premieres on Discovery)

Since April rolled out, Discovery Channel Asia has updated it's look: A new logo, new bumpers, new shows.

I like the new logo (unlike the new one for Animal Planet, bring back the elephant!) the new bumpers...it's ok, globe kung globe--though the understated blue on white plus side swipe transition really worked for me, or even the older ones the "elements": solar flare, snow blizzard.

The new shows?

They have a couple of new ones premiering this April, though I understand that most of them were aired first in the west.

Man vs Wild Season 3

I really liked this show when it premiered here when my college days were about to end. I thought that it was about a survival expert with a camera in extremely unforgiving terrain initially. And this was "the format" na it tried to exude during the first season, hindi pala tlga--one of the most scathing criticisms of the show was how some of the situations were staged (the disclaimer now appears before an episode starts). Well ok pa siya nung first eh, now especially for the second season it's more of a gross-out fest nalang, you just watch it to see what slimy, stinky, raw stuff Bear's gonna eat next. Though I think I've learned a couple of survival tips too like pissing on your shirt and using it as head cover when you're in the desert or squeezing elephant shit for a drink.

though, to be honest, the most imporant survival lesson I learned from watching it is: NOT TO GO TO REMOTE PLACES--if I could help it.

One Way Out

An escape Artist tries to show "the science" involved in--well escaping. "Escaping" ala Houdini (or Yorick hehehe) though not escape in "real life" death situations (like being trapped in an elevator). It's so-so, limited appeal, am not seeing this thing running for 2 or more seasons. This is because the show's format is "limited" cause it's a bit on the Jackass or Wild Boyz side and just how many holding contraptions can one get out of (before things seem the same)?

This is also true for "Time Warp" a show about doing things in slow motion. Yep. As geeky as it sounds it's pretty interesting at first but it gets old quickly. After your 20 or 30th slow mo sequence it gets a little lame.

But let's see.

and now

Lost Tapes

This show seemed promising when it was promoted. Ala Blair Witch format, where in you watch amateur videos of paranormal/cyptozoological sightings...

WRONG!

I watched it around midnite tuesday and I must admit, the disclaimer at the beginning got me a bit spooked na.

It turns out the episodes are a mixture of documentary and fictive footages. What happens is, they ground it on a popular myth or urban legend and do a fictive imagining of a video encounter with the monster or entity.

sayang ito eh. the greatest flaw is how they really want it to seem like a REAL actual amateur footage when it's not. You feel insulted for being had--but at the same time YOU want to believe it's real!

my suggestion would be, instead of staging this B movie like footages, why not take it up a notch! as in full blown science fiction/thriller short films--complete with visual effects and make-up. AND let is pass for what it is...a work of the imagination--tapos insert the documentary bits nalang at some point in the show.

Coz the storylines aren't actually that Bad!
I saw the Chupacabra and Skin Walker episode

and to emphasize:

Chupacabra Video Storyline:

A mexican family tries to cross the border to Arizona--illegally. They contract a person to take them there hidden in a container truck. But a problem ensues, the driver drops them off halfway not fulfilling the deal. The family is left in the middle of the desert with the sun setting (oh btw the footage is from the daughter's video cam)... and they are attacked by a Chupacabra! this vampiric, hyena like creature. But you never get to see the creature fully.
The scene shifts to the border patrol's video cam...
it is now completely dark.

They see two bodies on the side of the road, and we see they are the girl's parents. And voila they have 3 distinct puncture wounds in the neck, both have been drained of blood.

The police soon investigate the premises and from the shrubbery they find the daughter curled up and trembling in fear. They put her in the police truck and while she screams that the thing is still out there...they soon hear a growling sound in the distance...and after a few peaking in the bushes, the camera catches a vague sight of a "thing"--gun shots, camera shaking, running-- the police soon escape.

I Was Bitten

This show is by far the best one to premiere in Discovery this April. It's like another fave show of mine "I Shouldn't Be Alive". But this focuses more on survivors recounting their harrowing experiences of animal attacks. This is really not for the squeamish set. The scenes can get pretty graphic...and the lingering thought that that REALLY happened to a person adds to the cringing sensation.

Like this person who survived a bear attack even after getting his skull cracked like a nut by the bears jaws. His eyes popped out of its sockets...brain matter came out of his nose.....

or this surfer who got attacked by a shark in the water who almost bit him in half if not for the surf board he was on...the whole flesh on his back got ripped off, and you could literally see his lungs, kidneys his vital organs.....

WATCH IT.