Allegiance, Citizenship

Read this great article by Ninotchka Rosca (part of the Philippine Literary canon) on Inquirer's Global Pinoy section (Sunday edition). Basically she recounts her experience of finalizing her American citizenship. It is funny and infuriating at the same time--postcolonial on every level. But it speaks of truth--of the nastier side of Pinoy immigrant life:

Upon receiving her blue US passport:

Three months later, as I was replacing, with my just arrived US passport, the green Philippine one in my in my worn python leather wallet, I had a moment of unbearable sadness. Green and I had fought so many battles together. When an Italian consul insulted it, saying Filipinas loitered in Italy to marry Italien men; I told her I'd dumped an Italian boyfriend for being less than sexually competent. My green passport and I had been mistaken for a mail-order bride, a housekeeper, an illegal...

I'd been a foot soldier in its struggle for validity and respect. The blue one, the most prized passport in the world, I'd acquired through process a process I could only charitably call half-demented. Reality disappoints, truly.

***

This made me think of my sentiments for my country. Adrenaline love got me pumped after Pacman's win, but Estrada's plans to run in the 2010 presidential election quickly sapped it dry. I won't deny that I like and admire the British empire a lot--and now after immersing myself in French language (and culture), the French empire has a place in my heart too... I want to go to New York still, see Montparnasse and eat brunch at Hampstead (I've made so ideal in my mind) nothing has changed but it is different for me since...I was born here. My traumatic adolescence and young adult life comprise my memories of Manila in "a post-colonial necolonized world" as Spivak describes. "A post-colonial neocolonized Philippines." So yeah I am in that mortal identity coil--I will always think of "home" if I ever leave this place.

Besides, I've been through a lotta shit na to take shit from other people Pinoy or not.

So I say Go Philippines,

and the rest of the world?

palibre naman :-)