THEORY PT. 4: The Catcher in the Helipad

I’ve said much bitter things about my brief sojourn in Makati.

Well
it wasn’t all that bad.

Cause I was blessed with a great creative team, that was kinda like my family na rin. If I didn’t miss the work, I could say that I miss them. I’m thankful for that. My team was the greatest ever sa dept. (yabang???) and we have the best part of the floor kasi were the ones beside the big window. Hehehe kaya I love the view lagi. You can see Manila Bay from my desk. Nice.

After thine affliction I had a hard time delivering my printed resignation letter to all the people concerned. Though I was aware that I could bail and never set foot in the office again. I took the prescribed route of sending the message through proper channels. The hardest part was handing it to my boss, the one who interviewed and hired me. Well, it was because my resignation proved him right.

I cringed.

They’ve hired students from UP before—and none of them left a good impression. He told me that when we were in the cold conference room.

“What makes you any different?”

I blurted all the give-me-the-job mumble.

When it could’ve been,
“The fact that you’re thinking of hiring me right Now.”

(Hayup!)

***

I had bad bad bad flashbacks.
But besides that I was okey. Somehow I knew/I felt why my forefathers quit (or were they just too bohemian and self-obsessed?).

So my last day came.

***

Coming from a lower (or lower lower lower) middle class* background, Makati CBD’s buildings, though they had dickheads for workers, managed to make me go “wow”. It’s not downtown Manhattan but it’s the only place vaguely resembling it in the Philippines. It’s this small piece of developed land that’s clean and nice. With all the connotations of richness and luxury you can pack in a business & “wellness” themed biosphere—terrarium.

When I did my rounds of applications to all the advertising agencies in the place (and that time I wasn’t really interested in any office outside of it) I judged them primarily on office space and location. My eyes were set on Ayala Avenue. So when I ended up in it, I wanted to see my buildings helipad from the very start. Yep. It caught my attention right away. I remember always looking up before I entered the building, waiting for a faint dizziness rush over me. You should try it hehehe stand almost close to the wall and look up a tall building.

At first, I thought you could have access to it by taking the highest route on the elevator but I forgot that the building wasn’t like Lepanto where one could sneak out to the topmost floor and take the stairs (Which I did with my OJTmates one summer). To access the helipad you take a special elevator, escorted by building security staff armed with firepower and a permit. Geez, wasn’t curiosity reason enough?

I was disappointed. I really thought I could sneak out from work, befriend a guard or two and have access to the helipad…and just stay there to think, relax, detox etc.

So when the date of my resignation loomed, I decided that seeing the helipad of tower 1 was going to be my last mission. During lunch break I went and asked the concierge about getting permission. I was told that I needed a “valid” reason, a written letter stating my purpose signed by a VIP and the number of people that would be present. I realized that my only chance of making it was to make my boss an accomplice. So I drafted this fake letter explaining the agency’s need for pictures of the Makati skyline for a print production. This, while crossing my fingers for my boss’ signature.

Unfortunately/fortunately she told me that she didn’t have the authority to sign such a document. And that’s how our Executive CD got involved. My CD, Monique showed it to Bonnie our ECD…and then I found myself in his office.

He first asked if I planned to kill myself. I said no, I told him that it was just for the sake of it. I think he thought it stupid but he agreed to sign the letter anyway (since aalis naman na daw ako). I was glad, heck I was excited to go up! He even said that he’d bring his camera and equipment to make it more legit. Nice, my plan was falling into place.

Word soon spread and little did I realize how many people, from the creative dept. at least, also wanted to see the rooftop. So my intention of a solitary trip quickly became a Department field trip.

But there was only one problem the weather.

***


The day of the rooftop trip came. I promised myself that I’d just enjoy the day. I’d accomplished most of the formalities of resigning—the only thing missing was that box where you put all your junk in. I wish I’d bought one to complete the ceremony.

Oh—that, and another job interview, yep, on my last day at work. _______ called me for an interview a couple of days before and I agreed. I wasn’t serious or anything really …I even told my boss and she advised against it. “Mas-panget dun.” I believe were her exact words. But I must admit the name of the ______ based agency is catchy. It used to be called __________ until “_________” acquired it.

Why did I agree to it? Well during the time of my resignation my agency thought that I could try copywriting. I’d like to think that this was because they didn’t want me to leave. (I don’t know) But I must say I felt that a copywriter’s job was easier during that time, for the simple reason that they always left after 6pm while we go on and toil till morning comes, most of the time. And besides, I felt that I could write to save my life. So it couldn’t be that hard. Right? Also, during that time, to be honest, I was fearful of my future. I was leaving an industry that could very well be my only chance of becoming rich in this lifetime. I was leaving “the” industry that I always thought, since I was a college freshmen, would be the one I’d devote the rest of my life to. So somehow, I was tempted, heck I even thought of becoming an account executive. But in the barest sense I agreed because I wanted to do something that I might never have a chance to do again….

Art directing is a really cool job. But it’s different when it becomes, repetitive. It’s different if much of what you want gets scrapped by a client’s whim. It’s just different, it just becomes tedious. And there’s always this fuss about churning ideas at a flick of a finger, three concepts, two concepts blah blah blah. I felt that I didn’t graduate from UP just to do that. Buti sana kung I’m discovering a cure for cancer pero kung pambalot lang naman ng panty na may rhinestones aba…I mean I can bullshit all I want but sabi ni Oble ialay daw ang talino sa bayan hindi ba’t mas maganda namang direksyon yun? Kaya yun nalang siguro. Yun nalang siguro ang solid na dahilan kung bakit ako umalis sa industriya. At wala akong sasabihin sa mga taong gustong pumasok dito kasi yung iba nakakayanan naman na parang wala lang eh di good for them. Basta gawin mo ang gusto mo gawin sa buhay.

Ano kamo? Idealist ako? Aba pota ka, kung walang mga idealista sa mundo matagal na tayong nilamon ng atomic bomb.

If I remember correctly the interview was at 2pm. The office was a couple of buildings down from where I am so I wasn’t in a rush. I sneaked out the office 30mins before 2. The rooftop trip was set at 4pm so I had plenty of time. I was greeted by the concierge and was led to a conference room the HR manager was the first to meet me. And of course the usual forms were filled out and shit. After awhile she was curious why I was leaving my agency, seeing it written on the paper. She told me that the agency’s ECD and a CD was going to meet me shortly, and she was sure they would be interested why.

Shit? Okey. So they came.
I was surprised to see that the ECD was young, late twenties? And he was accompanied by a female CD.

I must say. I almost “loved” advertising again a couple of minutes into the interview. Mainly because I think, I think ok, they were really interested in having me on board. And the Jedi they met that day wasn’t the usual Jedi. He was ten times himself. They asked about syempre why I resigned. And I gave them the “tedious” litany. So I said I’m interested in trying out copywriting.

And what the ECD said, I don’t care if he was pulling my leg, was one of the best ego massages I ever got.

“…with copywriting, well anyone can write. But a person who has an “eye”, that’s someone who is hard to find. And seeing your work—out of all the applicants—your work caught my attention….”

Pumalakpak ang tenga ko.

I was sad, I was kinda likin’ the ECD already, bwehehehe, but I thought that this job wouldn’t be any different. Besides, I’ve decided already. Diba Jedi? Nagdesisyon ka na?

I said,

“…I came to Makati because I thought that advertising was great, I’ve tried art directing so now its copywriting, if that doesn’t work well…I’m fucked.”

They laughed. You’re the man Jedi.

Then the ECD said,

“…the bottom line is if we offer you the art directing position, would you accept it?”

“No.”

As I said that my heart thumped wildly, my mind was raising…they were getting up thanking me for my time…they asked if I wanted to leave my portfolio I declined. I was out in the lobby down the elevator….shit….shit….shit

Did I just do that?

Suddenly I laughed, I was laughing at myself on Ayala Avenue. I was walking and I just laughed…. I was dizzy…my palms were sweaty…exhilarated. I don’t know if I was going to regret this but Damn! It felt goooood. I did what I came for. I was all freakin’ Dharma chakra parivartana, I was turning the wheels of the law!

It dawned on me. I won’t have anything to do with this business anymore. Art directing, copywriting, accounts—no. Pota! Bahala na!

All that time pining for a single phone call, all that time worrying, pulling hair, what for—this? Please!

Nung nag-apply ako hindi niyo ko pinapansin. Nagahahanap kayo ng my experience ayaw niyo tumanggap ng fresh grad puwes magsama-sama kayo, go down with the Philippine economy or what’s left of it, every one of you! Mag-scam ads nalang kayo nang mag-scam ads dun lang naman kayo magaling Hahahaha

I’m OUTTA here!
Wuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

(A couple of other agencies called after that but I didn’t bother.)

Then I just laughed some more.

***

Adrenaline was still pumping/coursing through me when I sat at my desk back in the office. Matatawa na maiiyak ang pakiramdam ko. Kasi mukhang gutom na nga tlga ang kahihinatnan ko sa buhay. Pero ayos, ayos, kung may pagkakataon mang magpaka-existentialist ako eh eto na iyon.

4pm came, and I was excited. High ako. High ako nung umakyat ako ng rooftop.

And there I was.





Wow.


It wasn’t windy. The air was warm and still. I remember that I couldn’t hear the traffic down below. The day was overcast, and it rained the day before. I was at the top of this ivory tower. I broke off from the group and reached the edge of the yellow perimeter—the safe zone. The helipad didn’t have any barriers it was a flat polygonal slab of concrete. And I imagined what it would feel like to see the edge five paces away.



I was there. I could see Manila all around. It’s not a rye field. There were no bratty kids to catch. But there was a cliff. And Jedi was about to fall off the edge. I watched him fall till he disappeared. Then I turned away.

To be concluded…

.____________________________________________

We took a lot of pictures that day, and when we came down, I was just thankful, just thankful. I’ll always remember that time when I see that helipad. And now, almost a year after, when I see it occasionally, I smile.



*It’s hard for me to gauge. Lower Class-technically the one’s who live in the slums / Middle Class the ones who live in BF Homes etc. Hmmm, I live in Project 4. Definitely not BF homes hindi naman slums. But with the bad drainage and plumbing that spits your shit out from time to time, sometimes I feel like I live in a dump.